Opinion

Revealed: Content Of Joe’s Cheat Sheets

Several of his supporters have expressed concern about President Biden using cheat sheets while speaking to the American people. Let me allow you to decide if their concern is warranted.

My vast research team has discovered some notes from recent remarks, including the State of the Union address last week.

Notes for President Biden:

You are Joe Biden.

Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?

You are the pretend president of the United States. Repeat after me. Say, I am Joe Biden, president of the United States. Say this over and over again before your speech. Do this without giggling or cackling like your pretend vice president.

The war in Ukraine is going very well. Say that all we need to do is send Ukraine billions of dollars more to defend democracy around the world. Your audience doesn’t know any different. And as far as Hunter’s working in Ukraine, why shouldn’t he? He is the smartest man you know.

If anybody brings up the Houthis sinking ships in the Red Sea, try not to laugh at their name even though it is a hoot. The Houthi’s are a hoot. Try not to call them the Booties.

Someone may shout out that the election was rigged. Tell that dog-faced, lyin’ pony soldier that you’ll take him out back behind the barn and deal with him like you did with Corn Pop. You’ll do the same with Trump in November. After the drubbing you’ll give him in the election, he’ll fade away into abyss of history like the girly man he is.

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When of speaking of inflation, blame it on Trump for leaving you a mess when he left the White House. Blame it on the potato chip companies – shrinkflation! Blame it on the wealthy for not paying their fair share. Blame Trump for the shrinkage. He started shrinking the truth years ago. The only thing that isn’t shrinking are Trump’s lies. Then you can tell Trump that he’s going to shrink away come November when the American people tell him to get lost.

You might want to mention that Caitlin Clark, the Iowa athlete who set a new scoring record for women’s college basketball. Say it was due to her white privilege. Young black girls growing up weren’t that lucky. Caitlin probably had a basket in her driveway to practice on where all the black girls were not that fortunate. Therefore, you’re planning to propose a policy to give every black girl a basket in her driveway, and if some don’t have a driveway to give them one. (On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t try to pronounce fortunate. Use lucky instead.)

After you finish your speech, walk away from the rostrum, walk down the steps and up the aisle and don’t sniff any woman’s hair. It’s too creepy. Somebody will think you’re a freak.

My vast research team also discovered, while digging into this subject, that other historical figures throughout history have used note cards for various reasons.

I thought that this note for Abe Lincoln was interesting. This was a note he got at Gettysburg from his adviser Caleb:

Come on Big Guy, you can do better than, “87 years ago our forefathers brought forth.” That’s kind of boring, right? Maybe you can try, “8 decades and 7 years ago.” If that doesn’t work, try this: “Just 13 years short of a century ago.” Or go back to that sure loser, which was the initial try, “4 score and 7 years ago.”

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This article was originally published by the WND News Center.

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