ESPN further embarrasses themselves, tries to ban Matt Harvey from Texas game

ESPN just can’t help themselves. The same folks that dropped broadcaster Robert Lee from calling a UVA football game in the wake of the Charlottesville riot for fear someone may have their sensitivities triggered by the mere mention of the name, well… ESPN has struck again.

As uncovered by The Washington Free Beacon reporters Bill McMorris and Brent Scher, on the heels of the rain from Hurricane Harvey finally stopped flooding millions in southeast Texas, ESPN has put the word out for sportscasters to not mention New York Mets star hurler Matt Harvey.

You guessed it. The people of the Lone Star State are tough enough to take 50 inches of rain all at once; losing their homes in the proverbial blink of the eye; tons of human and animal feces in the waist-deep floodwaters; snake infesting that very same water, etc, etc.

But for whatever bizarre reason, we’re suppose to believe that when the hometown Houston Astros host the New York Metropilitans this weekend, the tough as nails Texicans are way to delicate to just hear the name of Matt Harvey.

In an email that The Washington Free Beacon obtained exclusively;

From: Connor Schell

To: BulsterOlney; DanSchulman; JessicaMendoza; RobertLee; AaronBoone

BCC: Rob Manfred

Date: August 31, 2017

The return of baseball to the Astrodome on Saturday is going to be one of the most widely watched and inspiring games of the season. We’re expecting big numbers, but that comes with even bigger scrutiny given the events of the past week. The path we walk is filled with peril if we are not careful. The Mets have not made things any easier for us. Despite extensive lobbying from myself, Mr. Skipper, and Commissioner Manfred, the front office insists on starting Matt Harvey against the Astros on Saturday.

We are going to have to make adjustments so as to avoid the potential of internet memes, outraged petitions, and black-masked anarchists amassing in Bristol. Below is a revised style guide compiled after synergizing with our diversity consultants over at Precision Representation Strategies, LLC and our legal guys at Irend, McGar, Mentz & Howell. They have helpfully given us a list of words that must NOT be used during Saturday’s broadcast, as well as some suggestions for making our baseball broadcasts more inclusive moving forward. PRS also supplied an example of dialogue to show you how to work around these issues.

Don’t let us down.


Connor Schell

Executive Vice President of Content


On a personal note, with today being September 1, today is is also the 78th anniversary of Adolf Hitler ordering the German invasion of Poland, which in turn initiated the European hostilities in what would soon be referred to as the Second World War.

Let’s all hope that ESPN puts the kibosh on any of their football color men mentioning any given gridiron team as using the blitz.

Why not? If ESPN’s Executive Vice President of Content is all wound up over “black-masked anarchists amassing in Bristol [the home studios for ESPN are in Bristol, Connecticut], then he must be scared witless regarding ex-Nazi centenarians Storm Trooping through New England.

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