Politics

Atheist booties are the perfect shower gift for the godless mother-to-be

What do you give the expectant woman who has everything — except faith in a higher power? A German shoemaker thinks it has the answer. Introducing atheist booties, the footwear for non-believing parents who want to get their offspring off to an early start.

A Berlin-based company that operates at the website atheistberlin.com makes and sells shoes for adults. Via Kickstarter, a website for entrepreneurs and sugar daddies, the outfit recently began a campaign to expand its product line to (in its own words) “super-comfy, handmade leather shoes for babies — dedicated to the only supreme beings they believe in; Mummies, Daddies and Boobies.” (I’m not at all sure who “boobies” are — the context seems not to imply breasts — so I will assume it’s code for Satan.)

More from the manufacturer:

We’re pretty sure all babies are born atheists and, rather than commit them to some religion before they’re old enough to have a say (let alone control their pooping functions) we’d rather celebrate their undoubted belief in Mummy and Daddy.

Which is what it says on the sole (soul?) of the shoes. The booties additionally have a black dot on them, just like the adult shoes. This, the company explains, is their “signature black hole of nothingness.”

[Video by manufacturer is here]

The group hopes to raise £7,000, about $9,636, and already has more than half the amount needed to begin its baby bootie enterprise.

As a reward, backers who pledge £45 ($72) get a pair of baby shoes. A pledge of £170 ($274) or more gets free pairs of adult shoes and baby shoes.

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