“And when Obama came down from the Mt. Capitol, he held the two tables of the testimony.” Book of Democratus 34:29
I. Thou shalt have no God in America except for me. For America is no longer a Christian nation. After all, I am the chosen One. And like God, I haveth not a birth certificate.
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved upon Mt. Rushmore.
III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name either in vain or in public. For it is only I who can sayeth Barack Hussein Obama.
IV. Remember Tax Day, April 15th, to keep it holy.
V. Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They shalt cost my tax-payer funded health-care system way too much ducats and shekels.
VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal, until you’ve been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to taketh money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants or those who lack the motivation or desire to better their own lives.
IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, successful or Christian.
X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I shalt place such a heavy tax burden on those who hath achieved the American Dream, by the time I leave office, no one wilt have any wealth nor material goods left for thouest to covet.
