Politics

GQ Magazine pretends Colin Kaepernick is 2017’s best citizen

GQ Magazine just gave NFL Quarterback-Not-Anymore Colin Kaepernick its Citizen of the Year award following such luminaries as…uh. I don’t know, do you?

It’s a fitting award in one aspect in that we get to pretend that a proper citizen is one who disrespects his country even though in non-pretend reality the opposite is true. His protest was about a pretend version of events where cops were shooting people just because of their color. When the facts came out they pretended the protests were about vague laments about inequality then they safely pretended it was about Trump.

When outrage started to hit the NFL’s bottom line the protesters then pretended that the protest were just a new way to show respect for the country and then we had to pretend that showing respect was still a protest. Mr. Kaepernick said that he consulted with veterans about how to go about it and a lot of his defenders pretended that this was in fact true and that it made sense. If Kaepernick said he got the idea from a guy who drove an ice-cream truck, his defenders would have pretended this was profound in a pretend class-struggle kind of way.

When you really think about it, is there anything the left does or thinks that isn’t pretend? Antifa pretends to riot over fascists, Democrats pretend Hillary is smart, and Obama saved the economy with a 1%+ growth rate. Is it all pretend or maybe they’re just wrong?

Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?

No no, stop, no. Colin Kaepernick thinks he should be in the NFL even though he stinks, just look at the numbers. We know it and he knows it but he is suing the NFL because he wants us to pretend he’s actually a martyr. Numbers don’t lie about the economy either nor can it be lost on anyone that Hillary is a colossal buffoon.

Certainly they see all of it but because they fashion themselves as “activists” fighting “injustice,” it’s imperative to deny it all and pretend a whole host of oppressions exist so that they can get to work at liberation. It’s a vocation with a constant search of something to do.  That’s why we have to pretend gender signs on bathrooms are an outrage.

Look at how GQ Magazine pretends they’re up to something tangible and important with what they call their Kaepernick “project.”

Though Colin Kaepernick continues his silent protest, he agreed to collaborate with GQ on a special project for our December Men of the Year issue in an effort to, as the piece explains, “reclaim the narrative of his protest.” He helped us assemble a ten-person team of his closest confidants—including rapper J.Cole, director Ava DuVernay, activist Harry Belafonte, and Women’s March co-organizer Linda Sarsour—to speak on the subjects of activism, protest, and equality, and to offer some rare insights into Colin Kaepernick himself.

Come on, come on. The point of the project is to “speak on the subjects” of activism and protest? So the “ten person team” will fly to New York, sit at a table and “speak” about the usual laundry list of pretend “issues” while pretending this will lead to finding their “Man of the Year” — why? Oh, so that Kaepernick can “reclaim the narrative of his protest.” That make no sense whatsoever and I mean zero sense at all, not even a little bit.

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