
Has the world gone mad? It wasn’t all that many years ago that men were men, women were women and it wasn’t a crime to note the difference. Not any more. Now, there are men who claim to be women and women who claim to be men and no one seems to know which restroom a woman with a penis or a man without one should use. Perhaps that’s the reason that 78% of the students at Cornell University voted in favor of a referendum to install tampon dispensers in both the men’s and women’s rest rooms.
Several years ago, CampusReform.org referenced an article in the Cornell Review that the need for tampons in the men’s restrooms was essential because, “not all people who menstruate are women, when accounting for the transgender population.”
More recently, Minnesota’s goofy governor “Tampon Tim” Walz joined the fray. Walz earned his nickname by advocating for the installation of tampon dispensers in- you guessed it- men’s restrooms. Calls for tampons in men’s restrooms aren’t limited to universities and the state of Minnesota. Consequently, there are other problems that will need to be addressed nationwide. Considering the challenge of using a urinal when you’re not equipped with the necessary apparatus to do so, there’s sure to be a lot of wet shoes and wet floors. I suppose Minnesota’s goofy governor and his counterparts in other states will be spending taxpayer money and universities will be using endowment funds to buy mops for all restrooms.
Who would have ever thought that the number of penisless men was so great that not having access to tampons in a men’s restroom was a major problem? And who would have ever thought that mobs of people born without a penis would be clamoring to enter a restroom through a door marked “Men”?
Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?
Another real challenge will arise when an unsuspecting male, with all original equipment still in place, encounters a tampon dispenser for the first time. Since the tampons are free, he’ll undoubtedly take one, hold it in his hand and wonder, “What the hell do I do with this?”
I’m no expert on the matter, but I do have a decent engineering background, which leads me to believe that a cylindrical object placed in dispenser in a restroom will logically be viewed (even be freshly arrived college students) as something to be used in the nether region below the waist and above the knee. Manly men have but a single orifice in said region, so I foresee a good number of baby-faced students figuring that a tampon is a multi-purpose device that can be used as a suppository, for birth control or to prevent the transmission of STDs. It might even work on men who aren’t really men. Why not experiment? They’re free.
According to some Cornell students, placing tampons in men’s restrooms is as it should be. The Review noted, “Many of those who voted “yes” made claims along the lines of, “this is a basic human right, like water or shelter,” and that it’s “ridiculous” and “insane” that they aren’t free already. Many noted that condoms are freely available at the campus health center, so tampons should be, too.”
And we all thought that the greatest concern for Minnesota residents is crime and that student loans are the biggest problem faced by university students.
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Cross-posted with Dave’s Substack
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