Space-time continuum to end and other ideas for demagoguing sequester cuts

space-timeListening to Obama and his allies in the Democrat-media complex, the government will fall apart if the sequester “cuts” actually take place.

Never mind that there are no real cuts, and the whole thing was Obama’s idea.  Not only did he sign off on it, he threatened to veto GOP measures to deal with the cuts.  Never mind that even with the alleged “cuts,” the government will continue to operate and spend more this year than it did last year.

For example, ABC News’ Jonathan Karl presented this on Friday:

The Department of Transportation’s budget for 2013 is $74.2 billion. The automatic spending cuts would slice $1 billion out of its budget: that is a cut of less than 1.4 percent.

And consider this: even if the cuts go into effect, the Department of Transportation will spend more money this year ($73.2 billion) than it spent last year ($72.6 billion).

Nevertheless, Obama’s list of horribles seems to get longer every day.  Karl said that in recent days, “officials have warned of more forest fires, workplace deaths and, heaven-forbid — chicken shortages.”

So, in order to help our friends on the left, we’ve come up with a few ideas for demagoguing the issue even further.

1.  If Republicans do not deal with Obama’s sequester cuts, the entire space-time continuum will cease to exist.

2.  The law of gravity will be repealed.

3.  The earth will stop rotating and revolving around the sun.

4.  Dogs will no longer chase cars.

5.  Cats will no longer go bonkers in the presence of catnip.

6.  Dinosaurs will once again roam the earth (despite being rendered extinct by Mitt Romney and Bain Capital).

7.  The North and South Poles will reverse position.

No doubt there are a number of other things that will happen if a deal is not reached.  Please feel free to add your ideas in the comments below.

There is a common-sense fix for all of these manufactured crises: Pass a balanced budget.  Of course, since common sense is not government policy, it will probably never happen.


Joe Newby

A 10-year veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps, Joe ran for a city council position in Riverside, Calif., in 1991 and managed successful campaigns for the Idaho state legislature. Co-author of "Banned: How Facebook enables militant Islamic jihad," Joe wrote for Examiner.com from 2010 until it closed in 2016 and his work has been published at Newsbusters, Spokane Faith and Values and other sites. He now runs the Conservative Firing Line.

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