SCIENCE! How ugly guys become attractive, the formula for the perfect derrière

How in the world can Jessica love Roger? Science tells you why. (Twitter)
How in the world can Jessica love Roger? Science tells you why. (Twitter)

“She blinded me with science” – Thomas Dolby

So how in the world did a first-class dweeb like Roger Rabbit ever land the eternally sexy Jessica? While I’m asking stupid questions, does the steamy spouse of Mr. Rabbit have the definitive derrière?

Fret not, friends. The good folks from the world of science answer both questions.

As reported by the undeniably sexy Valerie Dekimpe of the Agence France-Presse (of course) via Yahoo News, according to the research of ;

In the ruthless world of the mating game, plain-looking men instinctively know that being funny, smart or poetic helps to compensate for a less-than-stellar exterior.

That gut feeling has now gained scientific validation from an unusual study published Wednesday.

Average-looking men become more alluring when women sense the man has an imaginative spark, it found.

The Chileana transplant to Paris further noted;

Why would women rate creativity among men so highly?

[Christopher Watkins, a psychologist at Abertay University in Scotland] pointed to evolutionary biology — the hidden criteria that drive us to seek the best mate for ensuring healthy offspring and their survival.

“Women on average are a more selective sex when it comes to choosing romantic partners,” he said.

Imagination and inspiration may be “a proxy for intelligence,” he suggested.

“Creativity is thought to be a signal that an individual can invest time and effort into a particular task or can see things in novel ways that may be useful for survival.”

But it looks as if Scottish headshrinkers may not have all the answers. After all, nothing says “sexy” like Manchester, England.

Reported by the Manchester Evening News, after months upon months of certainly exhaustive research, Dr. David Holmes, a lecturer at the Manchester Metropolitan University has released his “mathematical formula, which helps determine the perfect posterior.”

The 54-year-old bachelor said: “I’m not married and I’ve had lots of experience of perfect bottoms.

“Some of the bottoms I’ve known have been quite remarkable.

According the the good doctor,

He uses his expert analysis to give a woman’s bottom points for five different attributes: shape (S), circularity or roundness (C), bounciness or wobble (B), firmness (F) and skin texture (T).

For example, in the case of a shape, a square bottom would score one point. But if it resembles a pair of grapefruits, the score would a maximum four. There is also a sixth variable which is the ratio of the hips to the waist (V). Finally, all the numbers are put together in the formula (S+C) x (B + F)/(T – V) to produce a number which might be regarded as the bottom line.

A perfect rear end, of the kind sported by Jennifer Lopez or Kylie Minogue, will have a score of 80 points.

Dr Holmes said: “Slender thighs and a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well perfectly.

So for the science nerds out there, (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V

The Shat Man explains it all.


Shat happens. The 3:20 mark is awesome.

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