Politics

Russia Blames ‘Mutant’ Ukrainian Soldiers for Invasion Troubles

From the moment that Russian tanks began to rumble across the border into Ukraine, there were concerns about just how effective they could be.

We once held Russia’s military in a high regard, thanks in no small part to Hollywood’s obsession with the Soviet Union during the Cold War.  But, once the world got an up-close and personal look at their capabilities, those fears were shattered.   As it turns out, the Kremlin’s fighting force is fairly dysfunctional, and the trouble they’ve encountered in Ukraine is downright embarrassing.

In fact, the only thing more embarrassing appears to be some of their bizarre excuses for their continued failures.

Nearly five months into its senseless war against Ukraine, Russia has concocted a wild new explanation for why the Kremlin’s plans for a quick takeover fell apart so spectacularly—because Ukrainian troops were turned into superhuman killing machines during “secret experiments” in American-run biolabs, of course.

Never mind the myriad reports of Russian troops refusing to fight by the thousands, sabotaging their own shoddy equipment and even deliberately wounding themselves to abandon the war, Russian lawmakers claim the real setback for Moscow was “drugged up” Ukrainian soldiers.

That claim was made Monday by two Russian lawmakers heading up a commission to investigate “biolaboratories” in Ukraine, Kommersant reported.

The actual claims were just as wild as they sound.

Konstantin Kosachev, the deputy speaker of Russia’s Federation Council, and Irina Yarovaya, deputy chair of the State Duma, touted what they described as bombshell findings from the “investigation.”

Testing of Ukrainian POWs’ blood, they claimed, uncovered “a range of diseases” that suggest they were secretly experimented on “for military purposes.”

“And we see: the cruelty and barbarity with which the military personnel of Ukraine behave, the crimes that they commit against the civilian population, those monstrous crimes that they commit against prisoners of war, confirm that this system for the control and creation of a cruel murder machine was implemented under the management of the United States,” Yarovaya was quoted telling reporters.

“And those performance enhancing drugs that they are still given in order to completely neutralize the last traces of human consciousness and turn them into the most cruel and deadly monsters also confirm this,” she claimed.

Bizarrely, she also claimed that the presence of Hepatitis A antibodies in Ukrainian prisoners’ blood was proof of an American biolabs conspiracy, since a former health minister for Ukraine was a dual Ukrainian-American citizen who had worked to acquire drugs for the treatment of hepatitis in the country.

“It is quite possible that this was about testing these drugs on military personnel,” Yarovaya said.

Of course, experts have been picking Russia’s equipment and personnel failures apart for months now, with no mention of these secret Ukrainian super soldiers.

Cross-posted with Flag and Cross

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