The president announced that his family have a new dog they named Sunny. There had been rumors around the White House that Bo would be resigning soon and returning to private life. The president’s political advisers see Bo as a liability. He’s a little big and ungainly and the White House staff is miffed that Bo insisted on taking a solo flight over to Martha’s Vineyard, over the president’s objections. An unnamed source confirmed that Bo is the leading suspect in the disappearance of all contraceptives from the White House. The source is quoted as saying that the president refuses to cohabitate with someone who has declared war on women. The same source alluded to the fact that Sunny is younger, cuter, and best of all, she’s gay. And while Bo came from an upscale suburb of Pittsburgh, Sunny comes from a shelter from Detroit. Bo is not expected to leave right away. He will linger with diminished duties for another six months, at which time Bo’s spokesman Ray Blarney, will announce that Bo has decided to leave to pursue other interests.