Hawaii preps locals and tourists for nuclear attack

That must be jelly, ’cause Uranium-235 don’t shake like that. (Youtube)

The Hawaii Tourism Authority touts the many wonders the Aloha State has to offer: Amazing tropical forests, beautiful sandy beaches, even more beautiful hula girls, almost perfect weather year ’round, North Korean nuclear air bursts…

Whaaat? Back the truck up. Did you just say something about nukes falling on Thomas, Higgins, Rick, and TC?

“We need to tell the public what the state is doing,” (Emergency Management Agency) chief Vern Miyagi said. “We do not want to cause any undue stress for the public; however, we have a responsibility to plan for all hazards.”

Everything Old is New Again…

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While the state government’s initial moves have essentially been nothing more than to instruct the 1.5 million residents, tourists, and military personnel to basically run and hide, there are a few old school relics ready to be resurrected;

The plan, which will be unveiled in full on Friday, includes Cold War-style evacuation drills for school students and announcements that say “Get inside, stay inside, and stay tuned,” according to the Honolulu Star Advertiser.

The plan also includes tests of a new emergency siren on the first work day of every month, according to Hawaii News Now.

What’s hotter – Hawaii hula dancers or North Korea nukes? (Youtube)


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