Hawaii preps locals and tourists for nuclear attack

Kevin WhitemanJuly 21, 2017

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The Hawaii Tourism Authority touts the many wonders the Aloha State has to offer: Amazing tropical forests, beautiful sandy beaches, even more beautiful hula girls, almost perfect weather year ’round, North Korean nuclear air bursts…

Whaaat? Back the truck up. Did you just say something about nukes falling on Thomas, Higgins, Rick, and TC?

Sadly, yes. The Hawaii Emergency Management Agency is acknowledging (albeit in a rather roundabout manner) that there is a real threat from North Korea’s fun-sized maniacal absolute ruler and demigod, Kim Jong-un.

Rather than just hot air from a pip-squeek thug of a leader, more than a few ballistic missile experts are of the opinion that Kim’s Hwasong-14 missiles very well have the capability to deliver an operational, but small yield (15 kiloton or less) nuclear warhead to the American states of Alaska and Hawaii, as well as the United States Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas, and the US Territory of Guam.

But don’t count on anything of the magnitude of mass casualty drills or any panic buying of Spam and rice. The state government is starting off with baby steps.

Teeny, tiny, why even bother baby steps.

As reported by the New York Post’s Yaron Steinbuch, Hawaiian government officials have instituted their civil defense measures by launching a unilateral info-bomb on both the state’s residents and the visitors who feed Hawaii’s multi-billion dollar tourism industry.

“We need to tell the public what the state is doing,” (Emergency Management Agency) chief Vern Miyagi said. “We do not want to cause any undue stress for the public; however, we have a responsibility to plan for all hazards.”

Everything Old is New Again…

While the state government’s initial moves have essentially been nothing more than to instruct the 1.5 million residents, tourists, and military personnel to basically run and hide, there are a few old school relics ready to be resurrected;

The plan, which will be unveiled in full on Friday, includes Cold War-style evacuation drills for school students and announcements that say “Get inside, stay inside, and stay tuned,” according to the Honolulu Star Advertiser.

The plan also includes tests of a new emergency siren on the first work day of every month, according to Hawaii News Now.