As we’ve reported several times, Hillary Clinton, the most evil person ever nominated to the White House by a major party, has blamed practically everyone and everything for the fact that she lost the 2016 election. She’s blamed the Russians, claimed Americans helped the Russians, fake news, the alleged misogyny of the American voters, the DNC, and on and on. About the only thing she hasn’t blamed yet is gravity and the kitchen sink.
So, in an effort to foster some amity and goodwill, we thought it only right to help poor Hillary come up with other things she can blame for having lost to Donald Trump.
Gravity: Why not? After all, gravity is that force which keeps us all planted on good ol’ terra firma. Maybe if we just broke the law of gravity, perhaps with one of Obama’s executive orders, she might just win since there’ll be nothing keeping us connected to the ground. Or reality.
The kitchen sink: You’ve heard the old saying, “everything but the kitchen sink,” so again, why not? If it weren’t for kitchen sinks, we wouldn’t have to spend time washing dishes and could spend more time floating to the polls…
Global warming: Leftists blame everything else on global warming, so it only stands to reason it would prevent people from voting for Clinton.
The AD 79 eruption of Mount Vesuvius: In August of AD 79, Mount Vesuvius erupted, burying the cities of Pompeii, Herculaneum and Stabiae, killing an untold number of people and spewing a lot of pollutants in the air which Al Gore would no doubt say helped to cause global warming (see above). Granted, we sarcastically noted in 2012 that this eruption could be laid square at the feet of Mitt Romney and Bain Capital because they did absolutely nothing to stop it.
Mitt Romney and Bain Capital: Because Romney and Bain Capital did nothing to stop Mount Vesuvius from erupting in AD 79, more pollution was spewed in the air, causing more global warming, which is to blame for everything.
The modulus of elasticity of iron: Don’t ask me to explain it — you can look it up here if you’re really interested — but I figured, what the heck…
We’re fairly certain there’s other things Clinton can use to deflect from the fact that she was simply a lousy candidate with more baggage than a freight train can carry. Maybe she’ll claim the Russians made her so sick she couldn’t campaign for days at a time. Who knows?
So feel free to add your suggestions in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you…
- Hillary floats conspiracy theory: Russian hacking ‘guided by Americans’ — maybe even Trump
- Speaking of ‘Nothing Burgers’…When will Hillary just go away?
- The real reasons Hillary Clinton lost in 2016 — And it has nothing to do with Comey or the Russians
- Hillary Clinton blames misogyny for losing election
- Note to Hillary Clinton: 40 years of lies and scandals will not go away
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