Über-creepy: Chinese sex robots and microchipped Wisconsinites make headlines

Dr. and Mrs. Sergi Santos and friends

“Sex robots” – even the words are skeevy. The phrase “micro-chipped humans” also rates fairly high on the creep-out scale. Suffice it to say, it’s been a big week for skeeve and creepiness.

Just when you thought the progression of humanity was indistinguishable from the oozing pus of a lanced boil, reporters Lin Taylor of the Thomas Reuters Foundation and Joshua Nevett of Britain’s the Daily Star, note that Spanish cybernetist Dr. Sergi Santos and his wife Maritsa Kissamitaki introduced “Samantha” and the rest of their silicone sex robots.

As seen in the video (below) Santos and Kissamitaki have designed a bevy of busty “polymer composite” sex robots that would make Russ Meyer envious.

Working in conjunction with a father and son manufacturing enterprise in China, Santos estimates “a minimum of 50 a week” of the sex robots “will be ready to be shipped to red light districts all over the world – from London to New York.”

Slightly weirded-out yet? If not, get ready for this…

While it’s a fairly safe bet that few mentally healthy individuals could even be sexually excited by any of Santos’ robots, a vision of the future that eventually may be forced on us is rearing its ugly head in the Mid-West.

The ABC affiliate in St. Paul, MN, KSTP reports that a software company in next-door Wisconsin is offering all employees the opportunity to have a $300 microchip implanted into them, all supposedly for the sake of convenience.

Yet as reported, more 50 employees are stepping forward for the free microchip implants the size of a single grain of rice.

That’s right, microchips. Implanted on the fold of skin between the thumb and index finger.

Considered the shape of things to come according to Three Square Market Chief Executive Officer Todd Westby, “It’s the next thing that’s inevitably going to happen, and we want to be a part of it”.

Three Square Market specialized in workplace break rooms commonly found in tech-friendly complexes. Who knew buying a bag of Doritos and a Coke was so cumbersome?

Just as people are able to purchase items at the market using phones, Westby wants to do the same thing using a microchip implanted inside a person’s hand.

“We’ll come up, scan the item,” he explained, while showing how the process will work at an actual break room market kiosk. “We’ll hit pay with a credit card, and it’s asking to swipe my proximity payment now. I’ll hold my hand up, just like my cell phone, and it’ll pay for my product.”

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