The amazing Quran takes flight, kills infidel with lasers

Flying Quran takes out evil Rushdie (screen capture - Youtube).
Flying Quran takes out evil Rushdie (screen capture – Youtube).

Is there anything the Quran can’t do? For the past 1,400 years it’s motivated Muslims to spread the Islamic belief system by the sword, beat the daylights out of lippy women, even give homosexuals the old heave ho from the nearest cliff or rooftop.

But thanks to the good folks at Evernew Pictures of Pakistan, we have the cinematic blockbuster International Gorillay (International Guerrillas). The Lollywood (portmanteau of Lahore and Hollywood) mega-hit also shows that the Quran is capable of all the following superpowers;

  • Mitosis (take THAT amoeba).
  • Flight (take THAT Icarus).
  • Lasers (take THAT industrial/military complex).

As the synopsis from IMDB breaks down this cinematic triumph;

The Islamic world is in crisis with the publication of Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses. Rushdie wants Pakistan, the stronghold of Islam, to fall. Determined to foil his plans are a trio of brothers who form a holy army to destroy Rushdie. Rushdie plans to drive the final nails into the coffin of Islam by opening a new chain of casinos and discos spreading contemptible vice and debauchery.

Mustafa Qureshi, hen pecked to death by his demented wife, decides to call it a day with his day job at the Police station and induct his unemployed brothers to create a Mujahid (God’s soldiers) trio whose sole aim is to seek out and destroy the despised Salman Rushdie before he manages to destroy all virtue and decency on the planet.

As the motion picture in question fancifully portrayed the wicked novelist meeting his flaming demise at the business ends of the laser beams from the many flying Korans, there is an element of truth to this example of historical fiction.

As author John Ericson cites in his cure for insomnia, Islam and Postcolonial Narrative, “… many Muslims took Rushdie’s title to refer to the whole of the Qu’rān as being the work of the Devil.”

Without fail, riots broke out across the Muslim World in opposition to Rushdie and his book. By the time the smoke cleared, hundreds were killed or injured. Adding fuel to the fire, the sharia-compliant government of Iran placed a death sentence against Rushdie.

With varying amounts offered over various periods of time, Iran offered millions of dollars to whoever would assassinate the offending writer.


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