Opinion

Video of the Day: Samantha Bee attacks Electoral College, says Founders a ‘bunch of elitist pricks’

Pop quiz: What do you get when you mix Trump Derangement Syndrome, ignorance, hatred of the Constitution and the Turner Broadcasting System, or TBS?  Answer: Samantha Bee.

In a recent edition of her program, Bee attacked the Electoral College, saying it “sucks” because it let Trump get elected.  Moreover, she said, the Founders are a “bunch of elitist pricks.”

Here’s video, courtesy of MRC (Warning: Graphic language, since Bee is apparently incapable of speaking without using profanity and thinks it’s funny — it’s not):

Here’s a partial transcript courtesy of Newsbusters:

Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?

BEE: Trump’s so-called election is just one of the many reasons the Electoral College sucks and should be abolished. Yes!

(APPLAUSE)

BEE: Yes. I know that sounds more radical than it is. Most of you probably learned all about the Electoral College in school. I didn’t because I was raised in Canada where the prime minister is elected by moose race…

(LAUGHTER)

BEE: …which somehow still makes more sense than this shit. But as a reminder, here’s how it works. Instead of voting for a presidential candidate, you’re actually voting for some local dipshit you’ve never heard of, with a name like William Rauwerdink. Each party gets its own slate of these dipshits and you’re just choosing which ones get to go to the dipshit convention and vote for President. And since most states are winner-take-all, a candidate can barely win a couple of small states but get more electoral votes than another candidate who wins every single vote in a more populous state. It’s like if all your friends voted to go to Fuddruckers for dinner but John Wayne Gacy voted for murder, so murder it is.

(LAUGHTER)

BEE: Americans have known for a long time that this system stinks and for decades, they’ve preferred a popular vote. That goes all the way back to a poll from 1944, when two-thirds of Americans supported a popular vote. Two-thirds! That’s right up there with the number of doctors in the poll who recommended Gerber baby cigarettes.

(LAUGHTER)

BEE: Why did our country’s founders stick us with the Electoral College instead of something that actually makes sense? I mean, partly, it’s because they were a bunch of elitist pricks who thought the average person was too dumb to choose a leader; which, okay, isn’t that far from the truth.

(LAUGHTER)

BEE: But there was also pressure to protect states that were at a population disadvantage because they had so many of those pesky three-fifths people AKA enslaved people. Now, there is some disagreement among experts on whether the Electoral College was created to help slave states or just had the side effect of doing so. But either way, it enabled the worst thing our country ever did; which should be reason enough to consign it to the ash heap of history, along with low-rise jeans. Listen, my underwear comes up to here and I am not buying new ones and yes, that is a threat.

(LAUGHTER)

BEE: The Electoral College also made these jabronies President. Could you imagine what the world would look like if these two weren’t handed the keys to America? No, things wouldn’t be perfect but we wouldn’t have invaded Iraq. The world would probably be one degree cooler and Gwyneth Paltrow would have this haircut instead.

(LAUGHTER)

BEE: The Electoral College is so blatantly stupid. Some people are suggesting a wacky alternative called democracy.

Of course, if Bee was as well-informed as she would have us believe, she would know the Founders did not give us a democracy, but a constitutional republic.

But then again, “if” worms carried shotguns, birds probably wouldn’t try to eat them.

Think about it for a moment.

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