Palace of Phallus: ISIS Women Get Jiggy In The Hereafter

Palace of Phallus: ISIS Women Get Jiggy In The Hereafter

Me love you long time.

Consult a physician if culture doesn’t exceed 7th century…

Willy Wonka gave to the world the wonders of the Everlasting Gobstopper; Carl Carlton sang of an Everlasting Love back in the mid-70s; G.K. Chesterton eruditely wrote of The Everlasting Man.

But never in the fevered dreams of all the crotch-fixated mad scientists at Pfizer pharmaceuticals has there even been hope, either in this world or in the next, of the long elusive everlasting erection.

But according to Palestinian-Jordanian cleric Sheikh Mashhoor bin Hasan Al-Salman, female Islamic Jihadists belonging to such groups as ISIS, al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, al-Shabab, etc, have first dibs on “the penis that never bends”.

This is my O-Face!

Jordanian-based Islamic cleric Shaykh Mashhoor bin Hasan al-Salmaan recently posted to the internet the answer to the age-old question if suicide bomber-ettes rate 72 virgins in the sweet by-and-by. And the answer is yes… well, sort of.

As al-Salmaan stated in his internet video, “The Prophet Muhammad said: ‘The dwellers of Paradise have clothing that never wears out, youth that never wanes, and a penis that never bends.’ So, she can have sex with this strong man, but she cannot have multiple men taking turns with her.”

Not quite done giving the low down on the fleshpot that is the Islamic version of heaven, the learned Shaykh made clear that a woman can have sex with her slave, married or otherwise. However, if flying solo the woman has the option of marrying her slave. Yet upon completion of the I Do’s, he then becomes not only a free man, but her master.

As it turns out, al-Salmaan isn’t just the swami of celestial sexification. According the the everything Muslim website, he’s also a published author.

Throughout the years, al-Salmann has penned such page turners as;

  • Al-Qawl-ul-Mubeen fee Akhtaa al-Musalleen (The Decisive Word on Mistakes
    performed in Prayer)
  • Al-Jam’a baina as-Salaatayn fil-Hadr bi-‘Uthri-il-Matr (Combining Prayers while
    in state of residency, due to the excuse of rain)
  • Kutub hadhara minhaa al-‘Ulamaa (Books that the Scholars have warned

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