Newest Enemy of ISIS — Kitty Cats

Newest Enemy of ISIS — Kitty Cats

ISIS hunts down enemy cats and kittens. (Pinterest)
ISIS hunts down enemy cats and kittens. (Pinterest)
ISIS hunts down enemy cats and kittens. (Pinterest)

There have been some wild and wacky fatwas (religious edicts) issued by various Islamic clerics throughout the years, but the latest may prove to be cat-astrophic. As reported by IraqiNews.com (of Manama, Bahrain) and Metro.com news (of London, United Kingdom), breeding cats is now strictly verboten within the Islamic Caliphate.

A religious council of “influential clerics and figures” belonging to the ISIS terrorist organization has just issued a fatwa against cats, on pain of flogging. As reported, the council ordered the official ixnay on puddy tats because “they say the animals are against a jihadist’s ‘vision, ideology and beliefs’.”is-kittens

For whatever bizarre reason, the Mosul-based de facto Council Against Cuteness has ruled against any indoor cat breeding. And to show they mean what they say, “ISIS fighters have reportedly already started going door to door, hunting for little kittens.”

Not the first time ISIS has issued a fatwa in the name of Mohammed, as reported by Britain’s The Daily Mail, sky rats were previously targeted;

Earlier this year jihadis operating in the ‘Euphrates province’ in Iraq and Syria declared an embargo on the common practice of breeding of pigeons on rooftops, claiming the sight ‘reveals the genitals’ which is an idiom used to indicate dishonorable activity. Local pigeon breeders were told they had one week to get rid of the pigeons or face public flogging.

Other examples of flaky fatwas and empty-headed edicts issued include;

  • The General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment Ministry of the United Arab Emirates issued a fatwa in 2014 officially declaring that any Muslim astronaut who should happen to die in any future attempt to colonize the Moon or beyond will spend the rest of eternity in Hell.
  • The Saudi Arabian government’s all-powerful Council of Senior Scholars ruled that any and all women within the confines of the kingdom as much as even speaking to a male doctor, nurse or even a nutritionist without the Islamic definition of a male guardian being present.
  • During the days of the Egyptian nation being ruled by the Muslim Brotherhood, it was made official that any women who swam in the ocean would be considered guilty of adultery. With the Arab word for “sea” being masculine, if and when sea water comes into contact with a married woman’s pelvic area, she is literally committing adultery. According to the fatwa, the offending female has for all intents and purposes become an adulteress and deserving of punishment. The standard Sharia Law punishment for adultery for a woman is to be slowly stoned to death.

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