Politics

Hillary explains what happened when she broke her toe

Hillary Clinton was in London promoting her book What Happened when she broke her toe and was forced to cancel appearances to a few media venues. How did she break her toe? According to the What Happened author she was running downstairs holding a cup of coffee with heels on, okay, and a heel “got stuck,” alright, and she “fell backwards” thus breaking her toe. Oh and someone was talking to her during all this and she was distracted.

According to the UK Guardian:

The former US presidential candidate had been due to appear on Woman’s Hour, This Morning and the Graham Norton Show as part of a promotional tour for her book What Happened.

But all three interviews were cancelled or delayed after the accident, which she described when she finally made it to Norton’s set.

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“I was running down the stairs in heels with a cup of coffee in hand, I was talking over my shoulder and my heel caught and I fell backwards,” she said. “I tried to get up and it really hurt. I’ve broken my toe. I’ve received excellent care from your excellent health service.”

Her communications director, Nick Merrill, posted a picture of Clinton on set wearing a protective boot, saying she had twisted her ankle.

Have you ever ran? Have you ever ran with a cup of coffee? Have you ever ran downstairs with a cup of coffee? Have you ever ran downstairs with heels on holding a cup of coffee? Have you ever gotten a heel stuck somewhere when you were running and fell backwards? Have you ever broken a toe? Have you ever broken a toe falling backwards?

And so we believe her, and why we shouldn’t is because we failed to alter our personal perception of what is possible in reality is possibly due to gender bias. And isn’t the personal, political? What do I mean by that? If I were to say, for instance, Hillary is outright lying about something there is no reason to lie about because that is her default response, that would be my personal response with a gender bias and the personal equals political. I’m training to be a liberal so bare with me.

So how did the What Happened author break her toe anyway? Here are some theories: 1. She was running barefoot and smashed her toe on a computer server no one thinks she still has. 2. She was watching Trump on TV being the president and got up and kicked the television. 3. She was watching Bill walk in front of the television and kicked him. She kicked something for sure out of sheer anger at whatever or whoever and she doesn’t want you to know.

She praised the country’s National Health Service for doing a wonderful job in mending her toe. Far be it for her to not leave England without a shout-out to socialism. Maybe she didn’t break her toe at all and the shout-out was the whole purpose.

But why such an untenable explanation? She could have used a more believable story for goodness sake. Her aide could have dropped a vase on her foot. She was out sightseeing and kicked a rock. Or she could’ve been a feminist hero and said she ran into Harvey Weinstein and kicked him in the arse (English for “rear end”) and got her toe stuck and then fell backwards.

Now all of London wants to know what happened and why she isn’t president and how she broke her toe . She explains in her book that she lost because Russia/Comey/Women/Wikileaks swayed the election in Trump’s favor. Didn’t she win the popular vote? And by winning the popular vote doesn’t that turn those excuses into lies? Let’s hope she gets better and runs again, downstairs, upstairs, for president, from the FBI. Just keep running Hillary, if that’s even your name.

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