In what was supposed to be a runaway bestseller, the Clinton and Kaine collaboration of Stronger Together should just simply run away.
As Amy Chozick of the New York Times News Service reports, “Hillary Clinton’s newest book, Stronger Together, which provides a policy blueprint for where she hopes to take the country if she is elected president, sold just 2,912 copies in its first week on sale, according to Nielsen BookScan.”
Besides the embarrassment of having a monumental flop on her hands, HeatStreet.com does a fine job of turning up the Clinton heat by listing the 10 books that come in higher than Stronger Together on the Amazon best sellers list;
1. A Memoir from a former star of The Bachelorette. Former reality star Andi Dorfman has penned an absolute page-turner about how its a terrible idea to find your future husband in a pool of 25 men competing for your affection on a television show.
2. The Pokemon Deluxe Essential Handbook. If you’re one of the few people still playing Pokemon Go, this book is listed as an “absolute must-have.”
3. The Publication Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. In fairness, this is a required textbook for a number of college technical and medical writing courses. But it’s still probably more entertaining than Tim Kaine’s thoughts on trickle-down economics.
4. A coloring book of swear words. It’s supposed to help you “release your anger.” You can find a list of the included profanity in the book’s “product description” (it even includes “tw*t waffle!”)
5. Crusoe the Celebrity Dachsund’s 2017 calendar. Guys, he’s dressed as a cop on the cover. He even has a tiny doughnut. How could you possibly go wrong?
6. At least three books about how terrible Hillary Clinton is. You can read either about the Clintons’ first term in the White House, about how Donald Trump will make sure they won’t have a second, or about how we’re all probably going to die anyway. Take your pick.
7. The Constitution. America’s founding document has actually been having a great few weeks, with various versions topping both Amazon’s and the New York Times best-seller lists.
8. A practical guide to training your cat. The reviews on this one are impressive, despite the fact that it’s basically impossible to actually train a cat.
9. A cook book written by the authors of a website called “Thug Kitchen.” It promises to teach you to “eat some goddamn vegetables,” and to “cook up some real f*cking food” (Note: we ordered this book immediately).
10. Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Given her latest poll numbers, perhaps Hillary Clinton should be reading this book, rather than promoting her own.
If the shame of falling behind a wiener dog calendar isn’t shameful enough, there’s always the knowledge that a full 84 percent of Amazon reviews rate the book a degrading one star out of five.
And what may come to the biggest shock to the already fragile Clinton mental state would be that other than hearing her praises sung by the sycophants and bootlickers she’s surrounded herself with, the average American savage her on the Amazon site, often with hilarious results.
Some of the more awesome comments;
[ Reviewer was assassinated by Hillary Rodham Clinton ]
The book lays out a vision for our country and all its people. It’s a blueprint for building a nation that flows with milk and honey.
Hillary is our deliverer!(OK, Brazile. I wrote what you told me to write. Will you now release my child unharmed?)
Truly the Mein Kamf for a new generation. I have never in my life been more inspired than I was after reading this magnificent account of Hillary’s struggles, particularly in regards the truth and her inability to avoid pandering. The mellifluous prose she employs makes it obvious that it took a village to raise this idiot and that one can overcome every hurdle in life, up to and including your husband using an intern as a cigar humidor.
I have a new found appreciation for the women who was heaved unceremoniously like a sack of potatoes into the back of her van and who then remerged hours later, her Cyberdyne Systems microprocessor fully rebooted, to continue her run for our nation’s highest office: Commander and Thief.
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And if you’re as concerned about Facebook censorship as we are, go here and order this new book: